I took a great picture at our grocery store to go along with this, but I couldn't get it off my phone -.-
Ryan and I were in town yesterday today, and in that time, I had a few experiences relating the title of this blog. I guess I will start with phones.
I HATE phones. HATE THEM. I mean, my phone went out a few weeks ago and I about went mad without it, but I hate calling people. As soon as I need to call somebody, I get all nervous and anxious about EVERYTHING. I mean, it is NOT uncommon for me to make a list of topics I want to discuss on the phone before I make a call.
Ryan and I went to town for a church activity, but something occurred that made going through with that activity difficult (I won't go into details). Anyway, the result of it was that I had to call half the people in town to figure out how to solve the problem!!!! Needless to say, I discovered that my hands turn beet red when I'm nervous!!!!
I reflected on this a great deal. I think that the problem I have with the phones is that MY MIND JUMPS TRACKS. I remember leaving one message yesterday where I went on for a full minute trying to figure out what MY OWN PHONE NUMBER WAS! When I'm NOT put on the spot, I can tell you my number instantly, but when I was under the pressure of leaving a message, FORGET IT. I felt like I was going insane! I mean, seriously. I was so embarrassed after I left that message that I never wanted to touch the phone again!
In my readings, I can see a lot of reasons behind my phone phobia. One reason is the lack of visual cues that assist in reading the situation. Visual cues are important for an ADDer since over 90% of our communication is non-verbal. It's how I monitor my own communication. I mean, I can talk to my friend Josey on the phone for hours because I know her well, but talking to people I don't call on a regular basis . . . forget it. I don't know them well enough to be able to monitor myself, I guess.
The main problem I have when I make calls, though, is that my mind jumps tracks so easily. I think it does this especially when I feel put on the spot or nervous. It goes like this: I get nervous. I pick up the phone. I get more nervous. My mind jumps tracks. I rattle on. The call ends in what I feel is a disaster.
Yeap. That was my day yesterday.
Ok, flash forward to earlier today. Grocery stores . . .
The Moab grocery store is I-N-S-A-N-E right now! I mean seriously!
I have anxiety about grocery stores very similar to ones with phones. There's a reason why I never am seen in the grocery store alone. Grocery stores UNNERVE ME!
I think the problem with the grocery store is sensory overload. My brain takes in so many things all at once that it goes into overload, and I'm not even in the door before I start to feel overwhelmed.
I think it's all the people, the items, the sights, the sounds, the prices . . . especially the prices. One of the main challenges with ADDers is that their brains don't filter distractions.
Ryan and I try to live on a tight budget, which means we spend a lot of time looking at prices in the grocery store. I'm terrible at this. I look at the numbers, but my brain doesn't compute the meanings. I've gotten a bit better with this, but I'm still terrible. Grocery shopping was a lot easier when I just went in, grabbed the items, and left.
I find that I get really irritable, sometimes even aggressive, grocery shopping. From what I've read, I kinda suspect it's because I'm on sensory overload, and that's my body's way of coping with it--it's a very fight or flight response. It's especially bad when the grocery store is as chaotic as the one in Moab is this time of year (tourists EVERYWHERE).
Anyway, I have many more thoughts on these issues running through my head, but I won't bore you with all of the mundane insanity :P.
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